Creatures column: evolution bizarre!

About baby weasels with bad intentions, cuddly corpses, fracking mascots with stupid names and a messed-up approach to street art.

Killer with beady eyes: a gray squirrel. Image: dpa

And then suddenly there was a photo on the Internet of a baby weasel riding a great spotted woodpecker. In London. Well, actually it’s not riding, it wants to kill the woodpecker. What weasels do when they don’t have to weasel their way out of an unpleasant situation. But anyway. A BABY WEASEL RIDING A PILEATED WOODPECKER!

We have to imagine Londoners as happy people, there are also these cute gray squirrels, which are much more trusting than the red squirrels. Okay, in reality, the gray squirrels are neozoa from America and, with smallpox viruses and aggressive feeding behavior, are currently causing the European squirrel to become extinct in England. What evolution does. CUTE GRAY SQUIRRELS!

Already extinct are the woolly rhinoceros and the dinosaurs. But sometimes they come back, and so a few days ago in Russia the cuddly woolly rhinoceros corpse "Sasha" was brought out of the permafrost. Meanwhile, the dinosaurs are up to their mischief in the natural gas industry: In December, the Nature and Biodiversity Conservation Union awarded ExxonMobil’s European CEO Gernot Kalkoffen the negative prize "Dinosaur of the Year," which his PR department – respect for that! – and turned the dinosaur into the new brand ambassador for the superduper technology fracking.

"Frexxi" (the name beat out "Frackus Futurus" and "Fracky the Frackosaurus" among others in a vote) tweets and blogs, he goes along to drills, to driver safety training and even to Grobenkneten. And just how much luck a dinosaur like this can bring as a mascot can be seen at Hamburger SV. There, Dino Hermann has been in charge for more than eleven years and they have really managed to stay in the league every time – congratulations!

Because Hermann not only works 90 minutes a week, but also represents his club away from the stadium, "Team Dino Hermann" was looking for temporary dinosaurs via a job ad at the beginning of February. Evolution bizarre! Requirements: "high flexibility", "fun in dealing with HSV fans and especially with children" and "ideally a class B driver’s license".

Speaking of Hamburg, Germany’s last existing Banksy creature – a girl hugging a bomb – was sprayed over there just under two weeks ago. Banksy, you know, is the street artist with the unclear identity and the so heartwarmingly socially critical messages, whose public complete sacrosanctity is imminent, which can also be seen in the fact that in Hamburg a foundation had already placed an acrylic glass pane in front of his mural. But between the pane and the wall there was a gap, and there the deliberately slow sprayed paint ran in from above. Graffiti evolution at work.

But is Banksy now extinct in Germany? Of course not: As a reaction, the column on which the girl with the bomb was, was completely covered with wood until the art can be restored. What you do with street art just so. NOT!

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